By Gabe Howard
Last Updated: 20 May 2022
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People are familiar with mania and depression as they relate to bipolar disorder. However, sudden and intense anger is also a very common symptom.
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“Normal” Anger vs. “Bipolar” Anger
Anger is a healthy emotion, and everybody has it. But bipolar anger or rage is on another level. For one thing, there is an element of it that is uncontrollable.
It comes on suddenly and, in most cases, dissipates just as quickly. It doesn’t necessarily need a trigger, or a trigger that is reasonable.
I compare it to road rage. When somebody cuts you off, in the grand scheme of things, that person is just trying to get home, too. But sometimes people just get very, very angry about another car cutting into their lane while driving. It’s as if their family name has been insulted, all because a car is suddenly in front of them in traffic.
Bipolar anger and rage work like that. It’s sudden! You just snap into it, and you don’t even completely understand why.
What to Do When You Become Uncontrollably Angry
There are some calming techniques that you can do when this happens. But first, we want to do everything we can to avoid it happening at all. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
When it does happen, we want to document it. Why? Because we’ll want to make sure to let our practitioners know that we are experiencing what really amounts to uncontrollable anger.
But when we are in the throes of it, remember to listen to others. If somebody tells you that you are being unreasonable, that you are unreasonably angry, try to take a break.
Call a time-out, move to another room, and calm down. Whatever you are angry about, even if it is legitimate, it will be waiting for you when you are done regaining control over your reactivity.
Also, don’t forget that we have this way of zooming right out of it in the same way that we snapped into it in the first place. One minute we are ANGRY, and the next minute, we are like, “Oh, it’s cool.”
How Others React to Bipolar Anger & Rage
It’s important to need to remember that the people around you are not going to calm down that quickly. This type of anger and rage is scary to other people.
And, really, it should be scary to us, too. When we are operating on all cylinders and when we look back at the experience, it is scary. So it is important that we make amends for these things, as well.
Once you are in a stable place, think back to what happened during your sudden rage. If you involved somebody because you were angry at them, remember to say, “Hey, I’m sorry for what happened.”
Have You Experienced Uncontrollable Anger or Rage?
Okay, here’s today’s homework: Share what you have done when you have found yourself in the middle of a bipolar anger and/or rage episode and what you have done to calm down. And, as a bonus question, talk about some of the ways you have made amends to the people who got swept up in this unfortunate business.
Learn more:
Originally posted December 7, 2016
anger, rage, symptoms
About the author
Gabe Howard
Gabe Howard is an award-winning podcast host, author, and sought-after speaker. In 2003, he was diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital.Gabe hosts the weekly Inside Mental Health podcast for Healthline Media and is the author of Mental Illness is an Asshole and Other Observations. He has appeared in numerous publications, including WebMD, Healthline.com, and the Stanford Online Medical Journal. He’s been a guest on several podcasts, including The One You Feed, The Savvy Psychologist, and Out of Patients.Among his many awards, he is the recipient of Mental Health America’s Norman Guitry Award and received a resolution from the Governor of Ohio naming him an “Everyday Hero.” The Inside Mental Health podcast has been honored by both NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and WEGO Health.Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can’t imagine life without. Learn more at gabehoward.com.
76 Comments
Deni Kistler November 15, 2023 at 11:13 pm
Reply
I don’t feel I’m bipolar. My problem is I hold things in. My husband put all our problems on me. I didn’t have sex with him enough. he’s home 30 min per week. yes 30 minutes I guess I’m supposed to jump him so he’s satisfied then leaves and I get nothing. because my feelings or needs don’t count.
Beth January 31, 2023 at 11:26 am
Reply
I’m bipolar and every little thing pisses me off. I’m on meds but, still noises, voices and alot of other things send me into a madness I cannot get away from. Most times, this is daily.
Granny J April 29, 2022 at 7:42 am
Reply
Our 21 year old Grandson moved on with us fir a fresh start. Unfortunately he brought his personality disorder with him. Any consideration of us , our sleeping hours, our household rules were ridiculous and he’d blow up. He’s gone now but Sent me an ugly hateful text blaming my husband. I never responded, nor did I share it with his parents or my husband. Was that the correct thing to do. I’m sure he is bipolar and not taking his meds. I fear for his well being and pray that someday he will apologize.
H.C. January 24, 2022 at 8:21 pm
Reply
My rages usually are not directed at a person. My anger becomes out of control when I am struggling with something for my business and I can’t get it right. Road rage. Being late. Computer problems. Regret and self-loathing. A disruption in my schdedule or routine. An unexpected result or event. If I could put my hand through a window or punch a hole in the wall, I would. Instead I usually beat my fists on my head, the floor or the steering wheel, while screaming every disgusting curse word in the book. A lot of the profanity is directed at God. It seems the older I get, the worse the anger is. My only coping skill is exercise, but I don’t always use that. And Ativan.
Joanne September 23, 2021 at 1:53 am
Reply
I’m not bipolar, and I’ve been his blame for anger. It’s like walking on eggshells cause when his anger is aimed at me he can put you down constantly. He waits 1 to 2 days till he apologies as I’ve turned my back on him cause he refuses to apologies as he never finds faults in his actions. His perfect, he never makes mistakes or his perfection…according to himself. Why should he say sorry or his wrong. He can not even say his wrong or made a mistake. All he says is you need to ignore what I say. But never apologies for his damaging words.
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