A popular political phrase coined more than 150 years ago ‘ the rift in the lute’ has been revived with the election of our accidental mayor, Troy TwoNames Thompson. It is an allusion to an apparently minor piece of damage which could possibly lead to larger disaster. Welcome to the new Townsville City Council. The embarrassment has started from Day 1.
Upside down, back-to-front and arse about: no, no, not the council, just another a. day from the Qld government planning brainiacs about to cause us traffic chaos.
The Magpie has a look at the line-up for the latest get-together of the P. T. Barnum Lunch Club, and has a look at what the suck … sorry, business audience … get for their $150 per head.
And Trump is upstaged – at least for a couple of days … by another murderous villain.
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Townsville City Council Doggy Style
Last Wednesday, bristling tails up, noses glistening wet, the new TCC pack circled each other, sniffing for friend or foe, as the new-look council had a look around its new kennel. Fortunately, none were spotted marking out their territory with a lifted leg, but you can bet territory there will be. And above it all was a bemused, seemingly befuddled Troy Thompson, with a distinct ‘what the f*ck do I do now’ look about him. What he did do was have a fall at the first fence, instantly trashing his transparency promise, by calling for a secret vote for the position of Deputy Doo Dah. He also backed a weird suggestion of annual in-house election for the deputy’s position, rather than an appointment for the full four year term. Both ideas were overwhelmingly and indignantly voted down. … because councillors didn’t think it was in line with their new policy of transparency. A good sign.
So let’s see how things were reported in comments as the matters emerged. This summary from contemporaneous posts (The ‘Pie knows from blog stats that only a fraction of the Nest readership look at the comments, but apologies if you seen much of the following.)
First, another good sign.
The Magpie
April 11, 2024 at 9:00 am(Edit)
Well, it seems possible he’ll have one advisor who is a straight shooter. But what a supreme moment of vindication for Fran, who put up with so much sh*t from the mayor and particularly The Mullet’s toady-in-chief Bligh (who survives like amoebas so often do). In one of the most cynical Hill moves, Bligh was suddenly given the title of ‘In-house Counsel’, which gave him a big bullying stick with which to continually bash Fran. If Fran wasn’t such an ethical person, Bligh would ducking a stiff arm or two as they passed in the hallways. And if she officially becomes an advisor, she will be striding the halls of Walker Street to the background sounds of grinding teeth from the Hill rump of supporters.
Best suggestion of the week so far is from reader Doug Kingston, who suggests all purposes would be served if Fran O’Callaghan was appointed the new CEO!!!
Then there was The Magpie’s genuine astonishment at the call for a secret ballot for the Deputy position, which experienced politico Paul ‘The Angry Ant’ Jacob had engineered and tied up well in advance with Hill Team turn-coat Kurt Rehbein. Ma Greaney, who would’ve won the plum salary of deputy, ($20,000 more than a councillor) was blindsided and wasn’t a happy camper at all. But it was the issue of the secret vote issue … and the mob of fruit loop cookers My Place in the background, that caused the Magpie some angst.
The Magpie
April 11, 2024 at 10:06 am(Edit)
Quite astounding. Con men usually aren’t as thick as that, but it all points to the fact that TwoNames really can’t believe the situation in which he finds himself, and by the looks of him, he’s not sure he likes where he is. He knows that sooner rather than later, details of his past will have to be addressed, The Magpie knows that at least three southern outfits with REAL investigative journalists are looking at him. And as another commenter said, Thompson’s visit to Brisbane ( for mandatory LG training) will be interesting, where there is a particularly aggressive pack of baying journos. Not the least of which is News Ltd’s Courier Mail rottweilers, not happy with our mayor’s treatment of St Rupert’s Church of the Townsville Astonisher.
And that issue brought forth some character revelations about at least one of the newly elected.
- The Magpie
April 11, 2024 at 10:18 am(Edit)
And it seems we have another right wing fruit loop who needs careful watching.
Div 8 Clr Andrew Robinson
Division 8s Andrew Robinson showed his colours early, in calling for a secret ballot for Deputy Doo Dah. His background, not just ADF (thank you for your service) but a Duntroon graduate(here’s your blinkers, officer, wear them at all, times), betrays a mind set not conducive to open and transparent governance, a sort ‘do not question orders from your superiors type of guff – we’ll let you know what we decide when we think it appropriate’..
But this turkey managed to look a total ninny when he tried to explain away his totally defeated secret ballot call, telling the Bulletin….
Division 8’s new councillor Mr Robinson advocated the secret ballot and said only the outcome of the council’s vote was what mattered.
“Regardless of how the councillors vote, at the end of the day we will adopt whatever position the council agrees on,” he said.
“And therefore to my mind it is irrelevant whether the vote is 1-7 or something else.
Unless you smarten up, soldier, it will be you who will quickly become irrelevant.
That Magpie view raised the ire of a few folks (so unusual for The ‘Pie to upset people) , who vehemently believed Mr Robinson would be a good councillor.
Correction commenterApril 11, 2024 at 2:30 pm(Edit)
I’ve run into Andrew Robinson many times during through our shared Defence service. I think he’s a good bloke with a sensible head on his shoulders. He’s no lightweight. I can’t see him blindly following the orders of the Mayor. Robinson has the ability to analyse and solve problems without direction from others (esp. if the others haven’t got a clue). I think you will find that he will develop into a very good Councillor. I wish he represented my Division.
Reply
- The Magpie
April 11, 2024 at 5:01 pm(Edit)
Well, he hasn’t started well, as pointed out. And solving problems yourself without consultation with other elected people … clueless or otherwise… isn’t helpful either. But let’s see how he goes, it wasn’t a hanging offence, just poorly thought out and disassociated from the transparency ideal.
Correction commenter
The MagpieFun times ahead, with Mayor TwoNames My Place backers urging him to act on such vital matters as removing fluoride from the city’s water supply, and a bit of sovereign citizen batsh*ttery (this is a My Place fav) questioning the legitimacy of the coat of arms in the council chambers. Now there’s a subject that has monopolised front bar conversation around town.
Shortly after the above pic was taken, CEO Prins The Prince Ralston resigned, saying he was taking his. bat, ball and couple of million dollars he has milked us for and would play somewhere else. There would be a public farewell for him, but it seems there are no suitable telephone booths left to rent to accomodate his well wishers. Perhaps a Port-A-Loo?
Thompson trolls and dishonest actors in Nest comments continue to attack The Magpie with the idiotic mantra of ‘give him a go’. These ninnies do not understand that of course fair minded people, including The Magpie, will ‘give him a go’ – but that’s a two-way street in the world of public office.How about Thompson and his drool squad give we residents a go and answer some perfectly legitimate questions, questions he wrongly maintains are none of our business.
But Troy Thompson’s elevation which has clearly surprised and disconcerted him reminds The ‘Pie of James Cagney’s famous closing line in the 1949 movie White Heat.
For all our sakes, one hopes that it doesn’t end for him, or Townsville, as it did for Jimmy Cagney.
It’s a fair bet that Alfred Lord Tennyson didn’t have Townsville Council in mind when he wrote ‘It is the little rift within the lute, That by and by will make the music mute’. An eloquent. way of saying there is always a capacity for a minor matter to develop into a massive f*ck-up, and those that is the eggshell path we now find ourselves tip-toeing across.
Duplication Duplicity
There’s something depressingly repetitive about the idiocy of the government infrastructure planners and political expediency here in Townsville. Whenever an election is in the offing, we cop a serve of smarmy stupidity.
Many remember the embarrassment of the Ring Road. When ego-on-a-stick Mike Capt Snooze Reynolds seemed to be in a bit of electoral strife, he came up with the grand announcement that the mooted Ring Road for Townsville would be go ahead and be built. This pompous self-regarding oaf – it’s rumoured that his bathroom mirror has love bites – duly strutted and smarmed his way back into office … and then it was announced that the Ring Road would be built … in two stages. And so it was, with travellers and commuters getting a laugh from the gee whiz sounding ‘Townsville Ring Road’ signs at either end heralding a few kilometres of two lane standard black top. After many embarrassing years, the second stage was built (long after Capt Snooze had retired to spend more time with his money) but at a cost more than double the initial two lanes.
Now we have a slightly different version of the same inexplicable lack of vision when the bleedin’ obvious is staring planners and politicians alike in the face. This week’s media release.
Tucked away almost as an afterthought in the media releasewas this throwaway line:$99.8 million has also been committed to duplicate Bowen Road Bridge, which is the last remaining bottleneck on this section of the state-controlled road.
Keep in mind the word ‘committed’, one of the great weasel words of the spinners’ lexicon. And no timetable has been set for this part of the jigsaw.
So, let’s have. a look at this:
So the upgraded four lane Uni Drive to the two-laneBowen Bridge … said bridge connecting with the existing four lane Bowen Road coming out of town on the other side.
The admission that money is allocated for the bridge is in effect saying, in neon lights, ‘our planners are f*cking idiots.
If the money for the Uni Road to Bowen Bridge upgrade is available, but the bridge upgrade (to four lanes) is not, why not swap the caches of dough around. Built the two extra lanes on the bridge, which can stay open during the work, life goes on as normal and THEN build the four lanes out to University Road? Doing the current planned way is going to create completely unnecessary traffic frustration and chaos, with the bridge no doubt quickly dubbed Bottleneck Bridge.
But one supposes the government nitwits have got one thing right … kids in the area will be much safer, as its very hard to be injured by a vehicle doing 5kph, as the kids ride by on their bicycles.
Les Walker is taking credit for this project.
Figures.
A Lunch Hard To Swallow
This caught the beady Magpie eye during the week.
$150 per person? For a few bucks more, you could’ve gone to the Pink concert. But here, you get a truly riveting line-up to accompany your rubber chicken and Yellowtail bubbles. Let’s take a closer look, and try not to yell ‘Shuddup and take my money!!’
Jaynie Seal reads news and opinion scripts written for at Rupert’s Sky news channel, but her deep analytical background as a weather girl for many years will no doubt offer valuable insights into our future. Demographer Simon Kuestenmacher will tell us how many people are here, how many arelikely to come and how any are likely to become ill, Townsville Hospital boss Kieran Keyes will then advise how his infrastructure sometimes leaks unexpectedly, why he charges outrageous parking fees and why his people occasionally send home seriously ill kids with the direction to take a couple of aspirin, Townsville Bulletin General Manager (ha ha, really?) Suzanne Wilson might reveal whatever it is she does for a living, and what ever Bulletin editor Cas Garvey says will bring the house down with her tales of terminally ill kiddies, cute animals, and new coffee shops putting Townsville on the map.
Wonder if throwable bread rolls will be supplied in the $150 tariff?
Quaintly Qantas.
Seems Jenny Hill’s infamous call to boycott Qantas a while back has taken a 180 degree turn … more often than not Qantas is boycotting customers with cancellations, delays and over-booking.
But hey, let’s not look a gift horse and all that, quick, get in for your new Qantas ‘experience’.
Hur hur hur, could anything be funnier than that from The Shovel?
Well, yeah.This. (Scroll down to Tourism and Travel). Makes you wonder who they actually surveyed.
For Once, America Talks About Something Else
Ironic that it takes the death of a double murderer to remove the spotlight from the former mobster president who killed in the thousands with his deliberate and deeply ignorant mishandling of the Covid response. But O.J The Juice Simpson managed it, carking it from cancer aged 76. His legendary slow-motion police chase and 1994 trial were global sensations. he was acquitted of the stabbing murder of his wife and her boyfriend, but was found liable in a civil trial three years later. He later served 9 years for some violent idiocy involving sports memorabilia. And kidnapping. A man unwept, unhonoured and unsung.
Finally, A little Contest For Readers
The following, a localised version of a Yes Minister classic, arrived in The Nest during the week. Pretty good, but how about coming up with an entry for the Townsville Bulletin. Send you suggestions into Nest comments.
This is sometimes amazingly accurate.
1. The Australian Financial Review is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Canberra Times is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The Australian is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. The Sydney Morning Herald is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The Australian.
5. The Courier Mail is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they didn’t have to leave Queensland to do it.
6. The Age is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The Melbourne Herald Sun is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train
8. The Sydney Daily Telegraph is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The West Australian is read by people who are in prison, who used to run the state, and would like to do so again, as would their constituents who are currently free on bail.
10. The Hobart Mercury is (slowly) read by people who are running another country, but need the Aussie Rules scores.
11. Crikey is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists, and those who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not conservatives.
12. The Adelaide Advertiser is read by people trapped in a line at the supermarket waiting for the electricity to come back on.
13. The Northern Territory Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
The ‘Pie’s entry:
The Townsville Bulletin is read by people who need new lounges and washing machines.
…………….
Another week gone .. . as they say, when you get older, the days drag on but the years fly by. Hey, be sure to check out the menagerie of new readers infesting our comments throughout the week. Yeah, it’s a lot like mocking the afflicted, but hey, admit it, that’s always been fun. The donate button is below.
